I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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