My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just want nice things and good sex
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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