Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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