Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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