so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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