Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
