big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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