Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
