I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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