I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize