Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
