So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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