3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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