He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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