So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
