What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
