So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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