I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Randomize
