Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
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