literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
