Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize