Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
This baby is an asshole
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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