Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
