moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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