He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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