my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Randomize
