he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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