Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
