she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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