So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
