ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
