is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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