I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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