Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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