There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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