My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
