I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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