she takes plan B like it's going out of style
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
