escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
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