I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
