He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
