goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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