Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
