gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
