Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
