Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize