Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
