No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
