none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
wanna go halves on a baby?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
