Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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