I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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