Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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