Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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