he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
