Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
