sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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