I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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