so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
