so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
