TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
