Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize