another moral hangover. fuck.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
