make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
