Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
