This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
